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This Love
Often when i cant think of a title for my blog today,i just use the song that im listening right now.
Sigh..this love..no i wasnt referring entirely to what Maroon 5 is singing..ya im listening to that song la.
Actually im quite upset of what is always happening b/wc my parents.Sometimes i do wonder if their marraige was a mistake.
I mean it was as if they knew that they are just not too right for each other in the first place,then why do they still go ahead and get married?
I knew I was in no position to said that coz without their union,there would be me writing over here.And without me,alot of things that is happening right now will be change.Talk about the movie 'Butterfly Effect'.
How do I get this right...Ok,perhaps I have a lil' summary.
My mum is a very very very head strong person,stuborn and strong willed.I do not deny her capabilities and maybe the fact that if she was given a chance to study like us,she might be a certain strong or at least capable figure in a company out there.
But often she is too head strong to really think if she has hurt others and would not really accept others' thinkings.
Or maybe she does,but not really to her immediate family.
I guess alot of things has to be do with her own family backgrd,the way that she led her life and so on.Coz it is pretty much the same for me.
I guess alot of things she would wanna share,her stories,troubles and things like that.But maybe..sometimes she prefer not to share too much.
My dad on the other hand is a more gentle and mild mannered guy.He is more peace loving and more sensitive to others' feelings.He is also a very traditional chinese old man,thus there are certain beliefs that he valued very much.
He thinks that he is a very much...erm..management kinda person.He will sit back and observe and then find a way to counter or treat u back.At least he deems he is such a capable person in this aspect.
He loves to share his own philosophies,stories,experiences and future plans with me.
He loves to do things by a certain formula or pattern.haha..like when it comes to mopping the floor,he always teach me how to mop a proper manner.
Yes...my family loving,patient old man.
How much I adore and love both of tehm.I know they have suffered alot for us and i really hope one day,very soon,I am able to give them something that they always wanted to do,or at least very close to it.
Life is always this short,I cannot imagine that my parents would be leaving me one day and that it would be my turn to leave my children.I'm very scare of death doing us apart but again,this is life.
So you know,I really wish that I could give them something before I dun have the chance to.
But there they are..their points never met.I dunno whose fault it is to lie on,but I am not to judge.I dun want to be too much on either side.I just wanted to love them both and hope that they can be more peaceful and understanding towards each other,if they cant love each other.
Divorce.This is really ironic.I mean..their age sums up to a century plus,and that they are having this in their plan.
Tears are choking behind me but i do not want to shed.So I hold each of them back..it is not happening and wont happen..so i wont cry.
I dunno why is this happening.Here I am...since young,studying hard and working hard for them.Yes i may be still be financially dependent on them,but I'm working right now...isn't it?
I am getting myself a perm job so fast,sacrifacing on what I wanna do and stuffs to earn money,to ease your burdens,and hopefully to give you what you 2 really deserve as soon as possible.
I am really trying so hard.I know I may be so not strong right now...But trust me,I will be.
It doesnt please me,nor does it DOESN'T hurt me to see you both like this.
What is the point that I have parents living together but not talking,not loving,not understanding?Why would I even wanna be at home then?
But I wanna be there for both of you.I may not talk when you both talk to me,but I am listening.I hope by listening...you might feel better,even though I dont feel happy listening to your troubles and woes and complaints and every negative comments and plans about each other.
Oh...I am really so sad inside.
But it's ok.Im a grown up now.I know what to do better and yes,I would be happy for whatever decisions you 2 make as long as it does mean you will be happy then.
I will just be there...
Oh well....Good night.
Sigh..this love..no i wasnt referring entirely to what Maroon 5 is singing..ya im listening to that song la.
Actually im quite upset of what is always happening b/wc my parents.Sometimes i do wonder if their marraige was a mistake.
I mean it was as if they knew that they are just not too right for each other in the first place,then why do they still go ahead and get married?
I knew I was in no position to said that coz without their union,there would be me writing over here.And without me,alot of things that is happening right now will be change.Talk about the movie 'Butterfly Effect'.
How do I get this right...Ok,perhaps I have a lil' summary.
My mum is a very very very head strong person,stuborn and strong willed.I do not deny her capabilities and maybe the fact that if she was given a chance to study like us,she might be a certain strong or at least capable figure in a company out there.
But often she is too head strong to really think if she has hurt others and would not really accept others' thinkings.
Or maybe she does,but not really to her immediate family.
I guess alot of things has to be do with her own family backgrd,the way that she led her life and so on.Coz it is pretty much the same for me.
I guess alot of things she would wanna share,her stories,troubles and things like that.But maybe..sometimes she prefer not to share too much.
My dad on the other hand is a more gentle and mild mannered guy.He is more peace loving and more sensitive to others' feelings.He is also a very traditional chinese old man,thus there are certain beliefs that he valued very much.
He thinks that he is a very much...erm..management kinda person.He will sit back and observe and then find a way to counter or treat u back.At least he deems he is such a capable person in this aspect.
He loves to share his own philosophies,stories,experiences and future plans with me.
He loves to do things by a certain formula or pattern.haha..like when it comes to mopping the floor,he always teach me how to mop a proper manner.
Yes...my family loving,patient old man.
How much I adore and love both of tehm.I know they have suffered alot for us and i really hope one day,very soon,I am able to give them something that they always wanted to do,or at least very close to it.
Life is always this short,I cannot imagine that my parents would be leaving me one day and that it would be my turn to leave my children.I'm very scare of death doing us apart but again,this is life.
So you know,I really wish that I could give them something before I dun have the chance to.
But there they are..their points never met.I dunno whose fault it is to lie on,but I am not to judge.I dun want to be too much on either side.I just wanted to love them both and hope that they can be more peaceful and understanding towards each other,if they cant love each other.
Divorce.This is really ironic.I mean..their age sums up to a century plus,and that they are having this in their plan.
Tears are choking behind me but i do not want to shed.So I hold each of them back..it is not happening and wont happen..so i wont cry.
I dunno why is this happening.Here I am...since young,studying hard and working hard for them.Yes i may be still be financially dependent on them,but I'm working right now...isn't it?
I am getting myself a perm job so fast,sacrifacing on what I wanna do and stuffs to earn money,to ease your burdens,and hopefully to give you what you 2 really deserve as soon as possible.
I am really trying so hard.I know I may be so not strong right now...But trust me,I will be.
It doesnt please me,nor does it DOESN'T hurt me to see you both like this.
What is the point that I have parents living together but not talking,not loving,not understanding?Why would I even wanna be at home then?
But I wanna be there for both of you.I may not talk when you both talk to me,but I am listening.I hope by listening...you might feel better,even though I dont feel happy listening to your troubles and woes and complaints and every negative comments and plans about each other.
Oh...I am really so sad inside.
But it's ok.Im a grown up now.I know what to do better and yes,I would be happy for whatever decisions you 2 make as long as it does mean you will be happy then.
I will just be there...
Oh well....Good night.
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